Judging others - a mental health perspective

Matthew 7:1-5 "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Do not judge me. Only God can judge me. We all know this is true, but exactly what does it mean, and how does it apply to mental health?

In the Greek, the word "judge" means to condemn or acquit someone after a thorough investigation. It means to make an informed decision about the guilt or innocence of someone, and have the authority to carry that decision out.

But if I'm watching someone being sinful before my very eyes, you're telling me I can't judge them based on what I see? Absolutely. That's exactly what that is saying.

But how does that make sense? Because the definition of "judge" says very specifically that it first and foremost requires a careful, indepth investigation. Man looks at the outside, God looks at the heart. Yes, God is very concerned about what you do and how you conduct your life. We are made for good works (Eph 2:10), and He expects us to be obedient to His commandments. The thorough investigation, though, requires the inclusion of the heart.

1 Tim 1:12-16 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

I would have had Paul put to death. Not only did he arrest and jail Christians, but he threatened them and had them executed if they did not renounce their faith in Christ. He was the most despicable person on the face of the earth from God's eyes - or maybe from my eyes... He was affecting people's eternal security. It doesn't get any worse than that.

But God had different plans for him. Man looks on the outside, God looks at the heart. He knew that Paul would be His, but for some reason I will never understand, He needed to allow him to persecute Christians before He called him. Man's ways are not God's ways. We cannot judge others because we can't ever do the investigation into the heart that would be required for us to come to a fully informed understanding of the circumstances and the final decision. That's God's job.

Ok, given. But so what? What does that have to do with mental health?

Your mental health has to do with you. You may be a victim of some horrible circumstance, but your current state of mental health has to do with how you've processed what happened to you, where you are in the process of your recovery, and how you have reacted to it, both as it was going on and now. Your offender has no more power over you. It's now up to you. Focus.

Or you may be suffering from some anxiety, loss, serious mental illness, whatever. In each of those cases, you need to be deeply in the Word of God and working with the medical community. The more you focus on others and what they're doing, the more distracted you are from the work you need to be doing. Mind your own business. That's enough work for anyone.

When you're judging other people, you have your eyes in the wrong place. If you see yourself judging others, then let that be a flag to you that you're playing "Holy Spirit," and you're distracted. There are no openings in the Trinity. All the positions are filled. Your job now is to be totally and utterly absorbed in your own devotion to, worship of, and obedience to God. Your mental health depends on it.

You're your own person. You're an individual. If you're judging, that means you're caught up in comparing. You against them. Your behavior as opposed to their behavior. God doesn't compare. God is not a respecter of persons. God will judge you based on what you do and whether or not you were obedient to Him. He will not judge you as compared to others. You will be judged based on the measure with which you judge others (Matt 7:1 and James 5:9). God is telling us over and over to focus on ourselves and our relationship to Him. As you learn how to be obedient to Him and his commandments, then you're mental health will continue to improve. You'll get closer and closer to Him, and your focus will be farther and farther from yourself and serving others rather than judging them.

And how do you feel when you're judging others? Sometimes angry? Sometimes disgusted? Sometimes anxious? How do any of those emotions help you and your mental health? Can your judgment of them help them? Can it help you? Do you feel closer to, or farther away from God when you're in active judgement against a brother?

Don't let their behavior rob you of your God-given joy. Let God do His work in them. They will answer to Him, and only to Him.

So what DO we do when we see a brother or sister actively, willingly sinning? Ignore it? No - not at all.

Paul told Timothy that we are to correct and rebuke others, but he didn't say anything about judging them. There's a huge difference. You recognize that their sin is harmful to God and harmful to them. You grieve for them. You should love them now more than ever. You confront them individually in love, then with one or two others if necessary, and then through the church (Matthew 18:15-17) if they won't listen and repent. Nowhere does Paul give you license to judge them. The church may even have to eject them from fellowship and "turn them over to Satan," as Paul says (1 Cor 5, 1 Tim 1), but even this is an act of love. You're still not judging them. You're simply being obedient to God and dealing with them in the way that He says will restore them to a full relationship with Him as quickly as possible (2 Cor 2). That's ALWAYS the goal. Restoration with God. Not condemnation. Not judgment. Not rejection of the person, but rejection of the behavior.

If you follow the Matthew 18 plan, you're detached. You're objective. It's not about you, so other than sadness at the lost brother or sister, there's no room for anger, anxiety, depression or any of the like. Your priority should be God and His plan. Learn of Him, get to know Him, learn obedience to Him. Let Him be your counselor, and get your focus off of others. You don't know their story, and you don't know their heart. Only God can know that. Only God can judge them.

Other chapters that deal with judging that you might find helpful. Each covers a slightly different aspect of judging, so all are edifying: Romans 2, Romans 14, 1 Corinthians 4, 5, and 6, James 4 and 5.

May the Peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding flood your heart.

God Bless, Sue

The Devil, Your Adversary

1 Peter 5:8b Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

We've heard this a lot. The devil, always on the lookout, is ready to pounce on us if he catches us wandering along, innocent and unprotected, down a quiet country lane. We see a picture of the lion and the lamb, only in this case, the lion isn't laying down quietly, enjoying a snack of grass with the lamb, but is devouring the sweet, gentle lamb who is just sitting around trying to be sweet.

Interesting picture - but not at all what Peter is trying to say. First of all, let's look at the whole verse:

1 Peter 5:8-9 8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.

What are the key words here? "Be," "resist," "faith," suffering." First of all, the picture of the little lamb doesn't bring one quickly to the scene of suffering. And "resist?" The lamb doesn't present much of a picture of resistance, either. In the first picture, he's totally vulnerable and helpless to defend himself. Peter presents a different picture here.

First of all, what's the book of 1 Peter about? It's about how to deal with suffering. It's all about trials, tribulations, suffering, and how to deal with it in a Godly way. It's about oppression, submitting to and honoring harsh authorities, and sharing the sufferings of Christ.

So what's the fifth chapter about? It's about a final entreaty to leaders to be good leaders, followers to be good followers, and everyone to learn how to handle suffering in accordance with God's will. It's a picture of ultimate strength in the power of God - yielding to God's will in your suffering. Peter is not painting a picture of a defenseless lamb.

So what happens if we don't? The devil, our adversary, will devour us. Whom will he devour? Those who allow their suffering to crush them. Those who are angry, bitter, resentful, vengeful, beat down, depressed, anxious, grumblers, prideful.

What does "being devoured" look like? It means that the character qualities of Christ, the Fruit of the Spirit, will not be present in your lives.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;

If you submit to the suffering, if you harbor anger, resentment, depression, etc., then where is there room for love, joy, kindness, gentleness, and the rest? These are the delicacies that the devil devours.

Why does he do this? Because it makes you a bad witness for the Kingdom of God. No one would be impressed by or drawn to a Lord with disciples who are bitter and angry. The devil loves it.

So how do you resist him? By never underestimating the destructive power of bitterness and anger (be of sober spirit and alert), by fighting with all the strength you can muster through Christ Jesus the fleshly urges to yield to those destructive feelings, and by remembering that there are Christians all over the world who are suffering as you are. Lean on them, remember them, pray for them, yield to the call of Christ.

You are NOT a defenseless little lamb walking innocently in the wilderness. You are a mighty warrior of Christ with the whole armour of God to protect you. The devil can only devour you with your permission. Don't give it to him.

James 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Resist the urge to rest in your bitterness borne of suffering, be firm in your faith. Pray without ceasing. Be obedient to the will of God by receiving and embracing the Fruit of the Spirit in Christ's name and through His power.

God bless you all in your struggles against the enemy.

Sue

Depression - Sin or Circumstance

Genesis 4:6-7 - Then the LORD said to Cain, " Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? " If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

Oh, please brace yourself and accept my apology up-front if anyone is offended by this. Jesus was described as the "Rock of Offense" (Rom 9:33, 1 Pet 2:8) and sometimes what must be said simply is what must be said. This is not intended to offend or lay a guilt trip on anyone. This is intended to help us understand the relationship between sin and mental health, and help you understand just how much power you actually have over your own mental health.

First, let me state my disclaimer: There are absolutely circumstances over which we have no control, and which have directly caused or exacerbated our state of depression. The death of a loved one, loss of a job and the family welfare, failure to achieve our life goals, major changes in our lives, etc., are each circumstances which could be out of our control and which could cause depression. The resulting depression is normal, and I am not going to minimize their impact on our mental health, and the devastating effects of them on our lives. Nor is it my intent to make you feel guilty for having those feelings. This is about regaining the power through Christ to have the lives we want and that He wants for us - the life abundant.

When God spoke to Cain in what I consider to be the first mental health therapy session, what was God's focus of fixing the problem? In our society, we focus on Self-Esteem (see the post on Self-Esteem ) as the solution to "making it" in society. We work on our self-esteem diligently, we blame others for our lack of self-esteem, and we wait (impatiently, usually) for our self-esteem to return so we can get on with the fulfillment in life we seek.

God said we have it backwards. Self-esteem (which He calls "countenance") is the RESULT OF, not the predecessor to, living life God's way. If you "do well," your self-esteem will follow - not the other way around. So what does it mean to "do well?"

Some of it is obvious: Fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, be nice to people, be generous, give to the poor, etc. But what do all of these things have in common? They're all actions we take.

But what about what goes on in our hearts? How much of an impact do these things have on our mood? As you could expect, everything.

Proverbs 3:1 My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments; For length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

God promises us that if we keep His commandments in our hearts, we will have a long and happy life. That's what that says - years of life and peace! Do we not all want that! It's not about keeping His commandments on out outside - it's about keeping them on the inside!

Matthew 23:27 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.

Matthew 15:8 `THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME.

God cares about our hearts more than He does our outward actions. And it is your heart that directly relates to your depression.

But I thought we were going to talk about sin? We are. The sin of the heart. The illusive sin that creeps into our hearts and gives Satan permission to hurt us and keep us in bondage. And what sin is that?

There are three that dominate our lives. These are the sins of pride, lust, and lack of trusting God. With these three sins in your heart, you rob yourself of peace, and you rob yourself of the life abundant that God has promised you. It's there for the taking, but you have to want it badly enough to give up the sins of the heart.

Again, I need to emphasize that I'm not minimizing your pain and your history. It is my heart to help you see that you have more control over its affect on you than you think. You can't control what you don't understand.

Matthew 12:29 How can anyone enter the strong man's house and carry off his property, unless he first binds the strong man?

Ok, here it is. You see the circumstance in your life as the Strong Man, but it isn't. The real enemy is your reaction to your circumstance. You need to bind that strong man.

Let's break the above three sins down:

PRIDE: Pride doesn't only say "I'm better than you." It also says "I deserve fill-in-the-blank." I deserve a happy childhood. I deserve loving, protective parents. I deserve children who love me and respect me. I deserve that promotion. I deserve yada-yada-yada. I have rights. Or "I didn't deserve this or that." God never promised us those things. He promised that when we face difficulties, he'll be there to comfort us (2 Cor. 4). He promised us trials and difficulties and persecutions (1 Pet 4:12-13). To say "I do or don't deserve this," says that my life is all about me and my comfort and my happiness. God says that's not so. Our lives are all about Him. To make it about us is the sin of Pride.

When you hear yourself saying "I deserved..." or "I didn't deserve...", remember that God has empowered you to overcome Satan in the sin of Pride. You are a new creature in Christ, and when you can rebuke those sinful reactions to your circumstances, you will begin the process of healing.

1 John 4:4 ...greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

Ok - before you send me hate-mail, let me explain. I totally understand that this is not a quick-fix solution. The old patterns are set in and seem to be a part of who we are. They're normal and natural, and totally understandable under the circumstances. But just remember that they aren't what God wants for you. They are indeed natural and understandable, and they're hurtful nonetheless. Satan wants you to hold on to them as "understandable," because he wants to dominate your life with anything that will keep you from an intimate relationship with God.

Be honest with yourself. Does your resentment of your past or current circumstances bring you closer to or farther away from God? If you're "me" centered, which is the underlying definition of pride, then you're not God-centered. Satan has won.

The sin of pride will keep us depressed and separated from God.

LUST: Lust says "I Want." I want what I deserve. I want what you have. I want what will make me happy. I want it. I want him/her. I, I, I. (Lust is actually "pride-plus"). Again, God says He will give us the desires of our hearts. Many people interpret that this way: "When I have a desire and if God truly loves me, then He'll give me what I desire." Nope - that's not it. It's more like this: "If I love God and am truly submitted to Him, then the desires I have in my heart will be ONLY those desires that have been planted there by God. My 'normal,' fleshly desires will be evicted by my own will, and I will leave room for the desires that God places there. He will give me the desires of my heart.

Lust says "I want something I don't have. I want what God hasn't given me (and therefore believes I don't need). But I want it anyway. God's provision isn't good enough. God isn't good enough. God doesn't love me. God is not living up to my expectations of Him. I've created my own "Santa Clause" God in my mind. I wish (pray) and He delivers.

Desire what God desires for you. Want what He wants for you. Want - and receive - His peace, His love, His comfort, His provision in your life. Make that be enough, and you'll find that freedom from depression you seek.

LACK OF TRUST IN GOD: We've been hurt. We've lost. We've been let down and betrayed. How could a loving God allow that in our lives?

I don't know. But I do know that He cries over it (John 11:35, Luke 19:41, and I believe Matt 23:37 was said in grief). He cries over us and our pain. He died for us. He doesn't will that pain into our lives, but for reasons known only to Him, He must allow it. I trust Him and know that the pain I feel, He feels, and I am comforted by that. I know that in the end, He will work it all out for good (Rom 8:28), although I may not understand it until I see Him face-to-face, where I pray He will say "Well done."

Maybe, just maybe, the "well done" will be in reference to the way I witnessed to others around me by the way I continued to love Him and trust Him in my pain. Satan told God that Job only loved Him because He'd provided wealth and protection to him. Job's suffering proved to Satan, to the heavenly host, to those around Job, and to us that that was a lie. Job loved God, regardless of his circumstances.

Without the pain and suffering, what does our love for God show the world? Nothing.

That gives my pain purpose, and I rejoice in the privilege of being able to witness to others through my pain. I rejoice that He thought me worthy to suffer in His name and for His glory (Acts 5:41).

When you're angry at God for the pain you've suffered, you're saying "I believe you're a God who doesn't care about my pain, and will allow me to suffer for no purpose." Again - let me reiterate - the pain you feel and the anger you feel at God is normal, natural, understandable.. I am not condemning you for it, and I know God doesn't either. He is indeed 'big enough' to handle your anger at Him, and He understands why you feel it.

But it hurts Him nonetheless because it is hurtful to you.

God wants you to have His peace and joy, but that doesn't always mean you'll be happy. Happiness is circumstance-driven. Peace and joy are not. Circumstances will not always be in your favor, but with the right heart, you can overcome the enemy that wants to drive you away from God through your circumstances, and you can receive God's peace and joy and glory, and rebuke the devil's desire for you, in spite of your past or present circumstances.

Catch yourself saying and thinking things about your circumstances that do not glorify God. Do good and your countenance will be lifted up. Love God more than you love yourself. Trust Him more than you mistrust others. Pray to Him without ceasing that He deliver you from your hurtful internal patterns that keep you locked in the bondage of pain, resentment, pride and lust. Free yourself. Yield to God. Give it all up to Him and for Him and you will find that peace and joy you seek.

My prayers are for you, and for your deepening relationship with the God who comforts.

Sue